Aug 22, 2009


The room was black except for light coming from a lamp. There was a scuffing on the floor like an animal at the doorway. I was standing a few paces from there waiting for what would come in. The door opened and a white light flooded the room. A figure approached me from a doorway. She opened her mouth and I heard the sound of locusts around my ears, as well as the whispers of thousands of scared children.

In a voice that rang of hostility, sadness, and impatience the words came with a demonic whirlwind to my body.

"I am standing here therefore I am real! You hear me therefore I am real! You react to me therefore I am real! Are you unable to understand that?!"

The fibers of my very existence, my very mind, were being violated by her. Her tears hit the ground and filled me with a sensation of being caught in a boiling hurricane.

I needed not to utter a word. My body grew distorted, especially my face. The jaw stretched and the eyes turned white, the mouth grew and opened revealing long needle teeth. Amidst my blind fury I felt my fists tighten and sensation went away.

The next moment there were pieces in the doorway. The light was gone except from the lamp. Flickers of the figure and the screams hit me like a skipping videotape. The sensation of needles was strong upon my lips.

Then gone.

My Musical Help

Autumn Tears - Dies Irae
Desiderii Marginis - Deadbeat II

Aug 17, 2009

Rosa Mortuosa - An Unfinished Poem

Umbrae aulaei feminam tengono
Invenit salum in vino

If peace was there she wouldn't know
Her life held much like a shadow

Lifelessness holds an immortal chain
Reality is a steel sphere at the heel

Aulaea vini vitam claudent
Rosa pura
Nunc rosa mortuosa

She turns her fate to the knife and strikes


Inside the doors of a deserted mind
Under the cobwebs
Behind the scuttling of mice

The slide of a tongue
The stop of a life unknown

The source of a pattern draws near
Pulses weave and make clear

A web of solitude
But there is a presence
Like a spider hiding in a stomach

The hall extends ahead of me
The corridor narrows rapidly
The limb slams down from deep disturbance
The tentacles grab me and interrogate

From coils and from madness and Seclusion
Of solitude, impurity and delusion
It gives to me 7 words that it hisses

"To your pulse come forth from withering"

The Music That Helped

The Paper Chase - I'm Going To Heaven
Artis Quartett Wein - Webern: Langsamer Satz
Artis Quartett Wein - Webern: String Quartet

Excerpt From One of My Stories

Here is the first version. I often revise my stories after some time. If you want to just read the sexual stuff then skip to the paragraph that starts with “out of the hall.”

The church was quiet, blank and dark. Deep in the depths of this underground church not even the wind could be heard. The air was hot and humid and chandeliers gave the room a ubiquitous dancing glow. Mort sat in the back of the room silently watching the stairwell. His eyes did not move at all, the light danced across his shaved head. Eventually he heard graceful echoing footsteps and smiled to himself, yet his eyes did not move.

“Heh, I sensed a berserker* down here. I guess you held it down here to bring me here.” Susan said with a sigh. Susan stood looking at Mort for a few seconds then said: “oh yeah, I forgot you barely talk.”

She proceeded to turn around and exit but then Mort spoke up.

“Stop.” He said smiling and getting up. ”You see, since that seance I couldn’t help but take an interest in a fellow necromancer.”

“Heh, I never thought you were a necromancer, using all those crazy robots and all.” She was moderately surprised at him being a necromancer but expected the interest due to her beauty.

“Machines, in their primary stages are a very cheap imitation of life that break down easily. But once they reach a certain complexity they become more amazing and beautiful than life itself.”

“Nothing is amazing as the undead though.” Susan said smirking.

“That’s exactly what Mrtu* said.”

“You’ve spoken with Mrtu? You’re stranger than I thought.” She said looking at him, her dark eyes closing ever-so-slightly in interest.

“Yes.” Mort said holding out his hand. On his hand was a beetle. The beetle suddenly became a large blue flame that Mort held in his hand smiling. “And there is my proof, he said.”

“Why did you want me to come down here in the first place?” She said remembering she was down in the church for no reason.

“I want to show you my greatest creation.”

Out of the hall to the right of Mort walked a robot that had the exact same appearance as Susan. It had her long wavy black hair and dark blue eyes and her white skin that captured the same image of pureness as Susan herself. The robot held a seductive look, every single thing about the robot looked human. The robot was naked, the curvature of Susan was cleverly captured as was seen in Susan’s eyes with the look of awe and attraction at the sight of the face that she knew the beauty of all too well. Eventually the robot stood right in front of Susan, their faces inches apart. The robot still holding that seductive look. Susan was still frozen in awe as the robot closed its eyes and moved in placing its lips against hers.

Susan was surprised but did not move; the robot’s lips felt like human lips. Eventually Susan closed her eyes and started kissing back. The tongue was warm like a human tongue. Susan began to touch the body and kept marveling over how much it not only felt like a human body, but felt like her body. The robot let out a soft moan as Susan’s hands ran down its back. The moan even sounded like Susan. The robot began touching Susan on top of her robes. The hands ran over her breasts and down to her hips then grabbed her lower back and pulled her closer. Their kissing became more passionate as they pulled their bodies close and hard and ran their hands up and down each other’s bodies. Susan pulled away from the robot for a moment and looked in its eyes. The robot ripped her robes apart leaving her naked.

It was hard for Susan to hide her excitement. She took a quick glance at the floor where her robes were and then stepped near the robot and began kissing and touching again. The robot slid its hand down Susan’s stomach to her pussy. The robot stuck its middle finger in which made Susan hunch over and grab the robot’s back and rest her head on the robot’s chest. Susan’s face strained ever-so-slightly as the finger remained inside of her. The robot slipped a second finger in and moved them in and out slowly. Susan raised her head up and looked over the robot’s shoulder at Mort who was standing there silent and solemn. It took her a moment to realize he was naked and when she saw that he was she smiled to herself and then caught him smiling as well.

“Interesting robot Mort.”

“I’ll have it step aside.” Mort said walking up to the back of the robot.

The robot stepped aside and stood like a statue to the right of Mort and Susan. Susan knelt down on the ground and looked up at Mort as he approached her. Mort stood inches from her for a few seconds, then, a countless number of hair-sized robotic tentacles came from behind him and wrapped around Susan’s arms and legs and lifted her into the air. Mort walked over and the tentacles lowered her so that her neck was at level with his mouth. He moved his mouth over to the right side of her soft neck that was moist with sweat, closed his eyes, and began softly licking her neck. His right arm was wrapped firmly around her back while he moved his left hand down and stuck his middle and pointer fingers slowly into her pussy. Mort then thrusted his fingers in deep and fast while simultaneously biting her neck with great force. Susan let out a gasp and grabbed the back of his head and squeezed.

Mort stepped back for a moment while Susan was being held up by the tentacles with her eyes closed. The tentacles turned her so that her back was suspended a foot or two above the floor. More tentacles wrapped around Mort’s shoulders, ankles, and waist and suspended him above Susan. Mort was lowered quickly to the point where he and Susan’s bodies were touching. As they were being suspended Mort lifted himself up using the tentacles around his arms and then slowly slipped his cock inside of Susan’s pussy as she softly gasped and clenched her hands in fists beside herself.

Mort began going in and out slowly. Susan was grabbing his arms and moaning softly. Suddenly Susan screamed as the tentacles quickly raised them both to the ceiling. Susan let out a powerful scream as they both hit the ceiling with a great thud. Mort quickened his pace, the sound of a few bricks falling could be heard but neither of them cared. Susan’s screaming grew progressively louder, she pushed her hands against the ceiling as the tension grew for her.

The tentacles quickly moved from the ceiling and slammed Susan’s back into the wall a few feet above the ground. Mort was going slowly and biting her neck. Susan wrapped Mort in a tight embrace as he bit harder and harder. Mort then grabbed Susan’s back and pulled her to him. Susan screamed, Mort abruptly stopped and looked at her neck.

“Heh, it’s not bleeding.” Mort said.

“Then bite harder.” Susan said with the most seductive of smiles.

Susan gripped Mort’s back tight again as he bit harder, soon he could taste blood in his mouth and Susan pushed against him. Mort removed his teeth and started going faster and harder while Susan dug her nails deep into his back.

Mort made the tentacles move again, this time they were suspended near the ceiling. The ceiling was only inches from the top of her head, she was straddled upon Mort who had his back facing the ground. Susan pushed herself against Mort’s chest moving herself up and down. Mort looked into her eyes, she was smiling seductively again and moaning softly while Mort had a solemn, but happy, smile on his face. Mort grabbed her hips and moved her up and down faster. Susan put her hands on the ceiling and used her arms to push herself down while the tentacles pushed her up. Susan let out a high pitched scream, closed her eyes tight, and grabbed his arms tight near the shoulders. For a moment it was really intense until the speed picked up. The scream shook the entire room and rang throughout.

The tentacles stopped moving and lowered both of them down.

“Ugh!” Mort said as he let out a deep combination of a growl and a moan, pulled out, and came on the floor. Susan had a look of relief and satisfaction on her face that Mort couldn’t take his eyes off of.

1 - In this story berserkers are armored undead monsters designed for battle that have broken free of any bind and lived on their instincts.

2 - In this story Mrtu is one of the lords of the undead.

Aug 11, 2009

Crimson Midnight

I wrote this poem with the help of someone named Martha.

Everything in grey is written by her. Everything in white is written by me.

The wind blows the curtains, the rain washes my face
The street lights flicker, a frantic pace
A baby cries, my tears hidden

What will become of this discarded innocence?
Falling slowly to the ground,
Destined to be lost in the ice

Frozen body, frozen time

The streets are cold, and wet with crime
Not water, blood
Am I lost in this chaos?
A scream of brakes
A choir of guns

So strong
So deathly
This nebula of decay
Is this gods secret fantasy?
Or the devil's prose?

My head tilts up
The lanterns have torn the lights out of the sky
The moon is hidden by the endless cry
The peace of a city, it's all a lie
The thunder hammers in the crimson night sky

Aug 5, 2009


Click click

Click click

"What is making that sound?" 

She inquires. Unaware that no one is around. She is only 7, her awareness of what is going on isn't the highest. There lights are on in the building, but her mother hasn't come back from the meeting. Now she remembers. She is at a hospital. She has never been in a hospital before, but she still thinks that it is weird that there are no people on this floor. She has not felt the presence of humans for what seems like hours.

She knocks on the door her mom went in. She waits a moment then knocks again. She puts her ear to the door to hear what is going on inside. All she can hear is the click click coming from the opposite direction. She keeps knocking for minutes more, yet there is no response.

"Mommy..." she mutters angrily.

Click click

Click click

She is curious at the sound now and has forgotten about her mother.

Click click

She proceeds down the hallway comfortably and starts humming to herself.


The sound dies down but becomes more rapid. She is determined to find the source. She moves along the right side to each door checking. It gets louder towards the end of the hallway, but after the six doors it is revealed that it is coming from the left.

She arrives at the first door on the left but it opens before she can even knock. She looks up at the form of her mother. The mother looks down and smiles a blank smile. There is something weird with her eyes and mouth but her daughter can't quite put her finger on it.


Click click

She doesn't have to worry about getting home anymore.

The music that helped create this madness

Akira Yamaoka - True
Akira Yamaoka - Black Fairy
Nurse With Wound - Bloodclot
Traumatic Voyage - No Man's Land

So This Is Insanity...

I know how I ended up standing here, but my mind keeps insisting that it is all a dream for comforting purposes. I’m ankle-deep in water, in a dark tunnel underground filled with cells. Cells that are no longer guarded. My eyes take a moment to adjust and I can see the ripples of light across the water that go down the tunnel above the stone floor. If only the visuals could take my mind off of the sounds. The squish of intestines, the cacklings and excited whispers of those things that now inhabit this place. I take steps forward, God knows why, but I have to get near. The whispering stops. I glance a thoroughly dissected body on the ground. I look one of them in the eyes. Now it is time to hold still and wait.

The music that helped create this madness

Quo Vadis - Dream